Hmph

Hmm...it's been a while huh? Just busy I guess...and avoiding sitting down and making myself think about things going on. Cause that's what I do when I sit down to write these blogs, just think about everything that's in my mind but I tend to push to the back sometimes. I just don't want to think too much into things some days. But today I have been, and to be honest a lot of things are scaring me and making me worry about life and the future. There are just too many things that aren't for certain. Too many things that could change in a instant that could turn everything upside down. Too many things that have already turned everything upside down. I don't know what's going to happen in the here and now and in the near future and sometimes I'm just worried that I can't handle it. I'm scared that I won't be able to make it through everything. I mean sure I'll make it through, but will I be who I want to be after the fact? I know that just in this past half a year I have changed a lot. Sometimes I think for the better, other times I'm not so sure. Maybe things would be better as they were before? Or maybe changes are all for the good? Or maybe where I am right now has only been one tiny step on this road of changes? Ok, so anyone who's reading this is probably like huh? and very confused. I think I'm confusing myself. But I guess I do know what I'm saying...maybe. I'm just worried about some things lately. Trying to figure some stuff out. But I guess life is supposed to be confusing right? It's supposed to be hard and unfair and sometimes cruel. It's all just a part of the process of growing up and living life. So I guess I'll get over it? It'll just pass like everything else? I'm waiting to find out.