Moving Ahead

We got my mom's results today. The cancer hasn't spread so she will have surgery to remove it this Monday. She will be in the hospital 3-4 days and then goes back 2 weeks later. After 4 weeks she will start radiation...and now they have decided that she is going to have chemo too. So she will have radiation 5 days a week and chemo 1 day for atleast 6 weeks. Sounds like a lot of fun....I am going to skip school on Monday and go to the hospital. The surgery might take about 4 hrs so I don't know what we'll do. She goes back tomorrow to find out what time it will be...so if it's later I may go to school for part of the day. I'm really happy that it didn't spread. But we're not in the clear yet. We've got a long way to go. Hopefully it will all go well!

I feel like I being pushed out by my friends a little more each day. Ashlie posted a bulletin last night after going to Justin's birthday party about how she's so excited that JARK (Justin, Ashlie, Katie, Riley) are all together again. She's got her old friends back and doesn't need me anymore. I guess I served my purpose while they ditched her and now I'm just put on the back burner. It's frustrating. She never talks to me. Since school has started we haven't hung out once when over the summer we were together almost everyday. She wanted to get out of dual government but said she didn't want to do it on her own...so I get out and then she leaves me high and dry on my own and stays in. She said that Katie convinced her to. Now they are in a group with Kirby and Sarah doing a project over gay rights. Thanks for throwing me to the wolves,or wolf (AKA Mr. Bates), by myself. I was afraid this might happen once school started, but then the way you talked about how if you ever became friends again you could never be close after what she did to you. Well I guess you were wrong. You can be...you are. And now we're not. I thought it was good that ya'll were working things out. I thought that you could be friends with her and still be my friend too. But I was wrong. We were both wrong. And then when you were telling Kirby about your plans for Tech you turn to me and ask if I'm still planning on going there too. I told you I don't know where I want to go. Then you tell her that your plan is to share a 2 bedroom apartment with Andy and Jesse where you and Andy will share one room and Jesse will have his own. Were you ever really planning on rooming with me like you said? Cause it sounds to me like you exed me from the picture already. But that's ok. I served my purpose. God used me to get you to Him. Maybe that's all it was supposed to be. But now you need to stay close to Him. But I'm afraid you are already losing that spark you had in the beginning. You've already forgotten what happened to you this summer. You've already ditched that "life changing" thing God did for you. You may not talk to me anymore. You may not talk to God anymore. But I talk to God. And I'm praying for you. Because I do still love you as one of the closest friends I've ever had. I will always pray for you.

So I've stayed up half the night working on my lame art project. I didn't get to start it till after 9 though. Sheri and I went to Brent's game (which ended up lasting a whole 2 hrs!), stopped by Josh's so Matt could show her the house, went to eat at chili's, and talked to my mom about everything that's going on. It's been a long day and I'm ready to fall into my bed and never wake up. But I know morning will come all too soon.