What does it take

So what does it take to fully trust God? That's my question of the day. I want to fully rely on Him, I'm just not completely sure how to go about it. After school I came home and took a walk around since it was so nice outside and I just thought about this. I know that I need Him and that He is always there, I just get frustrated sometimes....okay maybe more than just sometimes. A lot. It's just hard somedays but I know that I need to trust Him and to believe that everything will be okay in the end. It's just been really difficult.
I want to know that even if things don't turn out well with my mom that I can still hold on to Him. To know that even if all the other things right now go down the drain too that I still won't turn my back on Him and I can still be strong. I know there's a verse that talks about running to Him and He will give you rest. That's what I need right now. That's what I'm trying to get to. I'm just not sure how to get there. How to give it all to Him and not worry so much. I want to be in control of things all the time. That's just me. But it's all slipping from my hands. I don't know how much longer I can hold on.
There's an Aaron Shust song that I have been playing over and over again and it's comforting to me. I know that He's heard each one of my cries. Not one of my tears has been cried in vain. He sees it all. Whether I talk to Him or not He can see everything that is going on and exactly how I'm taking it all. Whether I choose to turn to Him or not, He will always be standing there waiting for me to. He'll never give up on me, even if it seems as though I'm giving up on Him. But I'm trying not to. I want to hold on to Him. I want to trust Him. I'm just not sure how.

I was lonely

You came waltzing over to me

And Your eyes they saw right through me

And You heard each one of my cries for help

And You came to rescue me

I was broken

Every prayer that I had spoken

Reached Your ears and all my tears weren't cried in vain

You carried all my pain

And put me back together again

You watch over me in the darkest valleys

You watch over me when the night seems long

You help me to see the way before me

You watch over me; You watch over me

Always faithful

To be leading, at this moment

Interceding for Your children

Though I've wandered astray from Your infinite ways

You've never left me alone

Take my frozen heart; awaken me

Never once have You forsaken me

Even though I walk through this shadow of death

You will guide and defend me

You’ll guard and protect me

Even though I walk through this shadow of death

You will lead me home